InsaneJournal

Ever Loved
Title Ever Loved
Rating PG-13
Pairing House/Wilson, House/Stacy
Word Count 1,322
Spoilers 322 - Resignation
Summary "Have you ever loved anybody else?" From three point of views.

I swear I have fanfic ADD - I was working on something longer, and this popped in my head (nevermind the series I dropped to work on that longer aforementioned fic). Muse!House and muse!Wilson won't settle down.



1. Dishes
Somehow you find yourself at Greg's place again, chiding him for living in an apartment without a dishwasher when he hates doing dishes; you had found the dirty plates hiding in the oven, yet again, after finding the cupboards empty. He asks, from the living room, what's the point in moving, if you're always here? You roll your eyes at this, although you do wonder why you're here if you hate the guy so much (besides the angry sex, that is).

Then he says that it would be easier for just one person to move in rather than two out.

~

For some reason, you're at House's again, and he's found a way to swindle you into doing his week-old dishes. Yet again. Although you make all kinds of sarcastic remarks, they're from the kitchen, as you clean the plates. Even when you think it's over, you find more dishes hidden away in the oven, and decide you really don't want to know about House's other hiding places.

You go into the living room, hands on hips, and ask how he's managed to survive without you, knowing you sound like an angry TV wife, but anything else wouldn't feel right.

2. Pets
Steve's wheel squeaks noisily – because you're too lazy to fix it – as he runs to no where. There's something on television, but apparently Steve is more interesting. You drink some beer to take the vicodin, even though you know you're kidding yourself in more than one way, and wonder about what Bonnie had told you; a part of you had always known Wilson didn't actually have any time to be having affairs (at least, with non-patients), because he's always with you.

Hector starts chewing on Steve's cage, having run out of other things to destroy, and knocks it over.

3. Betrayal
He's killing himself. To keep his damn leg. You feel you understand Greg rather well, but it's times like this when he seems suddenly irrational that makes you climb up the walls with distress and annoyance. Usually, you make yourself trust in his judgment, because he's normally right.

Killing himself. You can't let that happen. You can't. He might be right and come out fine, but if he's wrong, he's gone. You'd rather see him live hating you, than die loving you.

You hold your tears back as he goes under. “I love you,” he says. But not for long.

~

Hearing House tell you about his hallucination felt good, because he would never tell anyone else. The part where you back stab him and he punches you, not so much. Not because you would never do such a thing – you would, and do. There was the detox bet, lying about seeing Stacy; those were relatively small things. Turning him into Tritter – bigger, but for his own good. Lying to House about his patient certainly seemed like a good idea at the time.

But this plan will work, you keep repeating to yourself as you offer House a cup of coffee.

4. Snark
Honey turned out to be boring, but you guessed as much upon meeting her. Unfortunately, she was just as boring naked in your bed (and far too easy to get there); you imagine that Cameron is more interesting, and she doesn't even have breasts.

You find yourself very quickly gravitating back to Wilson, who not only understands what you're saying, but can turn it back on you as fast as you gave it. The only others who could keep up with you were Stacy, Cuddy on a good day, and Cameron with PMS.

You miss that more than free sex.

5. Loneliness
It's been a long day, and all you want is to get home and curl up on the couch or in the bed with Greg. Even though you both work at the hospital, it feels like you only see him when he's in your office. You wait around for about an hour before he tells you to go; so you wait at the apartment, as usual.

When he's finally pinned firmly between you and the couch, you realize he's not completely there, and it's only a matter of time before his dashes out again with the answer to his case.

~

It's been a long day, and all you have to come home to is an impersonal hotel room, some pills, and your thoughts; you wonder if this is how House feels.

For being a guy interested in details, he was not very good at understanding subtle hints. So finally you decided to come out and say what you mean, because this eight month dance was tiring.

Either House didn't want to hear the words “I'm in love with you,” or he really didn't because he was distracted by his current puzzle. Somehow, the former would be easier to live with.

6. Pushing
Although you knew the anger would come, the knowledge didn't make coping any easier. Greg flung some of the most hateful words at you those last few months. You really began to understand how well he could read you, and once that would have been thrilling; now it's horrifying.

He was fond of saying “I don't love you”; he would whisper it casually while you lied next to him, yell it angrily when he was frustrated, and hiss unexpectedly while you sat on the couch together.

But those were lies. It was when he spoke the truth that you left.

~

You drew a line when it came to House, and he crossed it.

So you drew another one. And another, and another. Every time, you convinced yourself that this time would be different, that you would hold your ground. House would cross yet another line, getting dangerously closer to solving you, and you would be mad for five minutes.

The incident involving the dirty four-letter word starting with “L” naturally comes up in the most humiliating way possible. You definitely can't laugh it off, and can barely muster up any indignation; you just leave House's office without a word.

7. Leaving
Stacy had threatened to leave you on a regular basis, but you never bothered to stop her, because you knew she'd come back with really great make-up sex. In no way did you think that was the case the final time, but for some reason, you couldn't bring yourself to say one word - “stay.”

In the past year, you've seen Wilson's back far too many times, but repetition doesn't keep your heart from racing or you from doing stupid things like turning yourself into the police or apologizing unprompted.

When Wilson leaves this time, you do something even dumber.

8. Make You Happy
Greg said that he couldn't make you happy, and you didn't believe it; with time, the meaning of the words finally sink in. You sit on the back porch, looking at the yard that even had a white picket fence, then at the ring on your finger. All that's missing is a dog and 2.5 children.

There are so many things that you wouldn't have now if you were still with him, or had gone back to him. Things that you always thought were worth sacrificing every day you looked at Greg, and you wondered if that made you weak.

~

Now you are so undeniably happy that you looked like you had a lobotomy, according to House. You make breakfast and he starts making wife jokes – real jokes. You know, ones that you both laugh at. For the past few years, House had been the source of a lot of pain, but all your happiness; you wonder if you'll overdose on it now, and whether he feels the same way.

House leans against you heavily on the couch, trying to pretend that this isn't cuddling; when you catch him smiling absentmindedly, you're sure you're a good portion of his happiness.